Why Child Education is significant?

Child Education

Your child is behaving completely normally and right from a developmental point of view. Quarrel in the sandbox! Who doesn’t know it… two children, three shovels and both want the red one. It’s being tugged and pulled. We’re in the middle of the mine phase. As a mother, I sit by and despair.

You can play together!“, “Let Emma do it too!”. Useless. My child doesn’t want to share. It was all so easy last year. What happened? When will this get better? And should I get involved at all or do they regulate it themselves?

Why doesn’t my child want to share?

Taking possession of things and defending them against others is innate. So your child is behaving completely normally and right from a developmental point of view. Children around 18 months start declaring whatever they hold as theirs with an emphatic “Mine!”. And this “mine!” must be held on to because who knows if you will get it back?

This natural behavior has already ensured the survival of the caveman children. Possessiveness goes so far that toddlers often identify physically with the objects they are attached to. You are part of them. If someone takes them away, they feel existentially threatened.

“Children between the ages of one and three define themselves strongly by things – clothes, hair length, toys. It usually takes a few years until their personality is so solid that they can see external things more easily,” says Hartmut Kasten, developmental psychologist, educator and family researcher from the State Institute for Early child Education in Munich.

When will my child education to share?

Sharing is a social skill every human has to struggle to learn. Since the idea of ​​giving someone something goes against the innate instinct, it’s not that simple. It takes time for children to realize that they don’t miss out on sharing and that it can be beneficial.

We grown-ups know that eating ice cream with two is more fun than being alone. A child has to learn that first. Small children have a different perception of time than adults. In addition, young children see themselves as the center of the universe.

To feel the desire to give something to someone, you have to be able to imagine what that person is feeling. Whether he is sad or happy, lonely or angry. But anyone just about to discover his “I” is completely overwhelmed with the “you”. “Most children don’t develop a real feeling for what’s going on in others until they’re about four or five years old,” says Kasten. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t practice sharing beforehand.”

Dispute over toys – should I get involved?

Even if the insight into “why” comes later, even under three-year-old’s are quite capable of understanding that certain behaviors, such as taking something from someone else, are undesirable. If you want to drive a friend’s bobby car on the playground, you must ask him beforehand.

And accept a “no” if necessary. This is a matter of practice. What if two fight over a toy? “It’s best to wait and see whether the children can’t figure it out among themselves,” advises the early childhood educator.

The usual solution of the playground parents, taking away the object of dispute and giving it to the other, is the worst. “Forcing children to share only makes them more fiercely protective of their possessions,” Kasen said.

It’s better to talk to children about what happened later when the storm has cleared. “It’s also a good opportunity to talk about feelings, your own and those of others. The more you do this, the quicker the child develops empathy.”

But often it’s not even about the toy itself. “The attraction isn’t the toy, it’s the fun that the other person is having,” explains Kasten. “The children wish they could have as much fun and believe that by owning the toy they can achieve that.”

How do I teach my child education to share?

Sharing is no longer a problem when children realize that they gain more than they lose by doing this. And if there is always enough for everyone, nobody would have to start hoarding. But while some children share rooms and toys peacefully, others find it much more difficult.

As with almost all behavioral developments, parents are important role models for sharing. Your children will learn that sharing and giving is fun when you model generosity and giving. Anyone who sets an example of strict “mine – yours” rules at home shouldn’t be surprised if there are arguments about sand molds on the playground.

As with all social skills, the role model of the parents is also decisive when it comes to being able to share, but the behavior of other children – especially when they are a little older – also has a strong impact. “If a child ends up in a day-care center where sharing is a matter of course, it adopts this behavior,” summarizes Hartmut Kasten. If the others are more like: “Take what you can get, whatever the cost,” the child is shaped by it.

Only children Can’t share? Personality and environment determine the tendency to learn to share

However, whether a child lends his things generously is not only a question of social training but also of personality. Parents who carelessly hide their belongings can have very picky children. Anyone reluctant to lend out their bike at age 10 will probably not casually hand over their car keys as a student either.

“When personality develops, a lot depends on early childhood imprinting,” says the developmental psychologist. Children who have always been able to rely on their parents to provide them with everything they need at the moment can build more security. “Those who have always had enough usually find it easier to share later.”

The thesis of the only child who cannot share is a myth, Kasten emphasizes. Siblings are more likely to feel they have to defend their territory. “Most only children have toys in abundance but find it boring to play with them alone,” explains the expert. Despite all social harmony, there must be things that are not shared.

Even in the most generous, share-everything household, there are guaranteed items that only the owner is allowed to have. Parents’ computers and mom’s wallets are just as taboo for strangers as Lara’s cuddly rabbit and Matilda’s panther. And that should be accepted equally by all sides.

Because if you want your child to respect your property, you must allow them to do the same child education. Your children want to be busy. With this guide you are guaranteed to find the right hobby for you:

It comes with time

When my son was about one and a half, he was the sweetest and most giving kid on the playground. I was so proud and couldn’t understand why the other children education were always fighting. The following year it looked somehow completely different.

I tried to convey what I could and mentally apologized to the other parents for what I had said the previous year. Today he is four and can share wonderfully again, especially with his little sister, whose first word is “MEINS!” was. Or at least one of the first. I’m more relaxed with her now. She’ll learn too. After all, everything is just a phase.

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